I need you now more than ever
by Ayooheather
Summary: He didn’t know how to deal with his emotions after the loss of Keith - all he knew was he need her. One shot


_You can do this._

He mentally chanted to himself as he struggled to get his tie fixed. He could hear the chatter of the people outside his door. They were there to "celebrate" Keith's life - at least that's what they say. He couldn't understand how there could be any silver lining in such a tragic moment. What was there really to celebrate? His uncle was gone. The only real father figure he's ever had is gone forever and he couldn't imagine having to force himself to mingle with random people and talk about the good times because at the end of the day, nothing was going to bring him back. He could feel the tears threaten to fall and he willed himself to push them back - fighting to hold the tears from falling.

 _Pull yourself together Lucas._

There was a soft knock on the door. He took a quick deep breath and clenched his teeth. He wasn't going to let anyone see how torn apart he was because he needed to be strong.

"Hey boyfriend…" the familiar raspy voice said before slowly walking toward him - pulling him in for a tight embrace. She rubbed comforting circles on his back, something she knew he loved. He instinctively put his arms around her and felt a wave of guilt wash over him. It's been a hard past few days - not only for him but for her as well. He knew how close Brooke and Keith were; they loved each other. Yet somehow, selfishly, he knew didn't make it easier on her. He was consumed with so many different emotions - emotions he didn't know how to handle right now. How was he supposed to be able properly comfort her when he was so fucked up right now?

"Hey pretty girl…" he whispered and gave her a soft kiss. Thankful that she didn't pull back. She's been holding back on the affection these last few days - giving him the space she thought he needed, even though that's the last thing he needed. He wanted nothing more than to be be with her yet the words never came out of his mouth. He never verbally asked her for comfort which she has taken as he needed space… from _her_.

 _God, he was so stupid._

He deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth - trying to savior her taste. He missed her so much. He missed how simple things were for them before everything happened.

"Mmm" she moaned into his mouth, gladly kissing him back but pulled back when she felt his tears on her face. "Baby…"

He shook his head and pulled her back into a passionate kiss. He felt the hesitation in her kiss and pulled back - not bothering to wipe the tears that were falling from his eyes. "I need this Brooke… I need you." He gave her a soft peck. "Please." He was begging her to distract him - to remind him that he was still alive.

He watched as she nodded her head and wrapped her hands around his neck.

"I love you Lucas" she whispered before kissing him again.

"I… love… you… too.." he said between kisses. His hands travelling to her ass, lifting her up which she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. He laid her down on his bed - kissing her more aggressively.

"Unzip my dress baby" she begged him but he shook his head. Instead, he hiked her dress up and tore off her panties. His kisses trailed from her lips down her body until he reached his favorite place.

"Baby…." she moaned, loving the feeling of his kisses down at her core. This was different from their usual sex - it was raw, filled with need, and risky. Completely different from the love they made many times before. He was normally attentive - always putting her needs before his but this time this was more for him than it was for her and that's okay. She knew he needed this and she was going to give it to him. She pulled him up, needing to taste his lips again, missing the feelings of his lips against hers. _God, this boy is great with his mouth… among other things._ Before long he unbuttoned his pants and slide into her hard and rough causing her body to shiver. He continued to thrust in her, faster and harder causing her body to shudder in pleasure. If he continued this, she was sure to hit an orgasm or two before he did.

"Brooke, I love you so much baby." he let out as he pushed into her one last time - not bothering to get off of her. He always loved to feel the warm of their bodies pressed against each other. The feeling of her heart beating along with his was one of the most intimate things they shared together. Both of them breathing heavily - staring intensely into each other's eyes.

"I'm in love with you Lucas." she managed to get out after she came damn from her orgasm, giving him one last kiss. "But we have to go back out there before your mom comes looking for you babe." she said with a sigh. If this were under different circumstances, she would have taken him for another round.

"Yeah…" he laughed softly. "I kind of messed up your lipstick baby"

"Whatever you need. I'm here for you Lucas" she said seriously.

He nodded his head. He knew that there wasn't a thing that Brooke wouldn't do for him. That's just who she was. When she loved someone, she loved them unconditionally and was loyal to a fault. And he could truly say the same applies to her.

"Thank you… Pretty girl"

* * *

It was unlike Lucas to be taken over by anger but he couldn't help but feel infuriated with the mention of _that boy's name._ Maybe he shouldn't have snapped out and caused a scene the way he did but how could Mouth even think it was acceptable to bring up Jimmy's funeral. He killed Keith. Just the thought of others empathizing with the killer made his blood boil.

He didn't come home until it was dark - until he was sure that no one would be at his house. He laid in bed reflecting on life. No matter how much he wished he could go back, he couldn't. He didn't want to change anything, just to be able to experience certain things twice. He missed Keith so much. And he was sure that he was going to spend the rest of his life trying to find a way to fill the void he felt.

A sudden text broke him out of his thoughts.

 _High School. U Need This_

He stared at the text contemplating if he should go. He didn't even know whose number it was but did it really matter who it was from? He needed to move on somehow. He knew moping around forever was unrealistic. Keith wouldn't have wanted this for him. He would have wanted him to live life to its fullest. So his mind was made up. He got his ass up and walked to the school.

He half expected to see Brooke standing there waiting for him but instead he was surprised to see Rachel instead.

"Rachel… You sent me this?" he held his phone up to her.

"Maybe" she said cryptically as she took the letter Y from the school sign.

"What are you doing?"

"No one has all the answers but we all have our whys" she raised the letter Y - as if she were trying to make a point. "Like why did this happen? Why didn't we see this coming?" she looped her arm around his and guided him toward the school. "Why do people watch american idol?... Come on"

With her hand in his, she opened the door to an after hours high school party.

"Welcome to detention" she said with a smile on her face.

He looked around confused as to why everyone was partying as if a tragedy didn't just strike at Tree Hill High. He could feel his anxiety start to rise. It was bad enough that he had to continue to go to this school - the same school his uncle was killed but this was all too overwhelming. It seems as though the shooting never happened and that struck a nerve.

She guided him through the crowd until Brooke came out of nowhere.

"Hi Boyfriend…" she said with a reserved smile on her face and grabbed his arms. He could sense her nervousness.

"Do you really think a party is appropriate Brooke?" he asked questioningly.

"It's not a party" she started to defend herself. "It's more of a cleansing for every kid in this school. You know everybody's here. Everybody's invited. Everybody's together. So just check it out. Okay? We got co ed bathrooms. Science labs for drugs and pharmaceuticals. Health class for condoms and people probably using them. Spanish class has kick ass margaritas and there's the tutor center for anybody who needs a little extra help." She listed off. "Tonight we're all together and we stop judging each other and let everybody heal their own way."

She can tell by the look on his face, how overwhelming this was for him but she knew that this was important. Not just for him but for everyone else in this school. The whole reason this even started is because of the divide and insolation one student felt. There needed to be a feeling of inclusion or else history will repeat itself.

"If you need to do this alone, I understand but if you need me I'm here." She added sincerely.

Lucas nodded his head slowly, knowing she meant well and as much as he wished he could let himself enjoy the night. It was too hard. He gave her a quick kiss on the forehead and headed toward the tutor center - hoping to have a little alone time.

Thankfully, his wishes were answered. He took a seat near the window, not even bothering to turn on the lights. Ironically, the darkness eased his nervousness. He just needed a minute to breath - to pull himself together and then he would go back out there to _her_. He was going to be strong for Brooke because God only knows how strong she has been for him. She needed to know how much he appreciated her or else he was going to lose her… again.

 _It's going to be okay. Baby Steps_. He repeated to himself as he took controlled deep breaths.

He heard the door open slowly and he turned and saw Brooke slowly walking toward him. Even in darkness, she was absolutely beautiful.

"I'm sorry baby" he murmured as he reached for her hand and pulled her onto his lap - resting his head in the crook of her neck. "I know you worked hard on this and I'm proud of you. Just please be patient with me. I'm trying."

She rubbed the back of his head and kissed his forehead. Lucas was always the strongest person she's ever known and to see him like this broke her heart. He was always the hero - saving everyone he could yet here he was in need of saving and she wasn't sure how to do it.

"I don't know how to save you Luke" she whispered sadly.

He pulled his head back far enough so he could see her eyes and could see the hurt behind those beautiful hazel eyes and that pained him. He slowly reached to wipe the stray tear that was falling down her cheek.

"Baby you are the only one saving me right now." he said seriously. "I'm sorry I haven't shown you that… I just - I don't know how to right now" he sighed.

"You know… I wish that it was me…" she saw the confused look on Luke's face, waiting for her to explain what she meant. "I know that's horrible and I know that's selfish but I watched you rescue Peyton… and you told me you rescued Dan and sometimes I just wish you could rescue me…" she admitted quietly.

"Brooke, you don't even know how strong you are. Sometimes, I think that you're going to wake up one day and realize that you don't even need me." he confessed. "I'm glad you weren't in the school that day baby. Because I don't even want to think of the day that I might lose you…" he placed a sweet kiss on her shoulder.

"That's never going to happen Lucas" she reassured him. "You're never going to lose me babe. We're in this together…" she played with his hair, feeling him relax under her touch.

There was a brief comfortable silence between them before Lucas spoke again.

"Losing Keith is making me question my faith Brooke" he said quietly. "I mean how can something so terrible and unfortunate happen to someone as good as Keith. Why does bad things always happen to good people?"

"I know baby…" she cupped his cheek and pressed a kiss to his lips. "I know"

"But then I sit back and think about all the things God has blessed me with." he paused shortly before continuing. "My biggest blessing I have ever received in this lifetime is you, Brooke. You are the most kind hearted, loving person I have ever met. I don't know who I am half the time but what I do know is that the man that I am when I'm with you is the man I want to be. And I fell so deeply in love with you. I don't even think I would know what I would do if I didn't have you in my life Brooke" he chuckled dryly. "The codependency we have formed is almost unhealthy but I wouldn't have it any other way. You are the strength I need when I am weak, the anchor that keeps me grounded, and the purpose I was searching for my entire life. Before I met you, I was content with just getting by. I didn't want anything more because I accepted the life I was given but then you came into my life and shook my whole world upside down. You made me question everything and you helped me redefine the definition of love and life and…. Forever"

Brooke looked at him with a loss for words - unsure of what he meant by forever. They've conversations about the future before but they never once have defined what forever meant for them.

"I want forever with you Brooke Davis. I know we're just in high school but…-"

"Lucas are you asking me to marry you?" she cut him off. "That's really Naley of you"

This made him a laugh. "No I'm not asking you to marry me…" he chuckled as the relief washed over her face. "What I'm saying is that if I had to put a definition on forever… it would be you. Just promise me that no matter how tough things get, we'll get through whatever it is together." he closed the space between their faces and kissed her deeply.

"Did I ever tell you that on date night for the fantasy boy draft Rachel made me shoot a shot blindfolded to prove that you're the one.?" he said smiling at the memory.

"Oh really?" she kinked her eyebrow. This was the first time she's ever heard of this story.

"Yup." he tucked a stray piece of hair behind her ear. "It went in... Nothing but net"

"I guess that means you're stuck with me… forever." she smirked and pulled him in for another kiss. When she pulled away she leaned her forehead against his. She loved how they were always able to these raw conversations with each other. Lucas was always a sensitive person and wore his heart on his sleeve but moments like these were reserved just for her and she loved it. She loved him. "I will love you forever Lucas. _Forever_ ".

 ** _AN: So... I've working on full story and it's coming along but I'm going to try to get majority of the story written before I post so it might take a bit... I just want to do this couple justice._**


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